at 8:30am on Mondays,Wednesdays, and Fridays I am blessed with having my Psychology of Gender Differences class. It is seminar based, so there is a great deal of discussion that ensues about any topic we choose to look at. Furthermore, being one of only two males present, I have to defend my fellow man against the onslaught of a group of women... that being said, I think that being in a room with 10 other women, hearing their views in a structured environment, has given me great insight into that it really means to be a man, a woman, or somewhere in between.
What stood out in the discussion today, was a TED talk video presented by the author of the Vagina Monologues (I will link the video at the end of this post). She made many good points about female genital manipulation, rape, and many other issues that face woman around the world at the moment. From her presentation, I took one particular phrase to heart... "bullets are hardened tears"... now what does she mean by this?
Essentially she says that, since men are told to not show emotions and to suppress compassion, it builds up a cathartic response and comes out as violence. We are all told that holding in what you are really feeling is not a good way of dealing with any kind of conflict; there are definitely much better ways of talking things out, one item at a time, as the issues come. Absolutely not saving up a bunch of problems for one large bitch-session. However, the message that men receive from an early age is in direct conflict with this. The masculine image is that of the strong man who doesn't cry and who can think his way through any feelings or emotions. Building on this is the premise that feelings get in the way of progress, whether that be monetary or otherwise... do I appeal to the minority group and lose money? (feelings) or do I stay with the status quo and gain more resources? (apathy, cold-hard-calculating)
It is here where there is a disparity in what motivates us as a society. Do we look at the thoughts and feelings of everyone at the expense of, say, my car? our country's economic well-being? I would like to think that there is a balance between these two things within out society.... it works as a pendulum, sometimes we are on track to keeping a stable and profitable capitalist economy while pertaining to the needs of the few. Other times we don't. This is the bain of a Democratic society.
I would like to say, in closing, that we should all take a page from the diverse genders that our culture contains (but often times hides) and make sure that our children don't get caught up in the bland, faceless world that was taught to us many years ago. Tell your son it's okay to cry. Convey to him YOUR emotions, let him know how you feel about things. Fathers, let your daughters see a sensitive side. Mother's tell your daughters that there is nothing they can't do. Father's, tell your sons that no matter what they do, you will love them unconditionally. Because there is nothing worse for a child, than not knowing (for certain) whether he or she is loved. This will create for us, a much better world
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/eve_ensler_embrace_your_inner_girl.html
No comments:
Post a Comment