Child Maltreatment

I would like to share a few things with you that I learned about child maltreatment recently, through classes and readings that I have done.

Firstly, I use the world "Child maltreatment" because it is a catch-all for various forms of abuse that include; sexual, neglect, etc...

Imagine that you have a young child who you are going to put into a day-care for the first time. As a new parent, you definitely have a lot of anxiety around leaving your young one with a group of relative strangers. But according to a lot of very well-gathered data, your child is more likely to be abused by you than by a stranger!!

Now, let me qualify that statement a little bit.  I'm not saying that we are all inadvertently abusing our children without knowing about it. What I am saying is that 84% of children who are abused are abused by parents. Only 10% of abuse cases are perpetrated by non-parents and strangers. The other 6% are the cases where the perpetrator is unknown. This data is from a 2005 study by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

When you think of the amount of time a child spends with certain people, it is clear that the majority of this time is spent with parents rather than strangers. In fact, we tend to reduce the amount of time our child spends with strangers due to the fear that they will do something bad to our child, or at least not abide by our specific parenting plan. 

Now don't go giving your child to the first homeless person you see to take care of for the day while you're at work!! but the moral of this passage is that the next time you see a parent treating a child badly, instead of attributing it to the fact that the child may be having a really bad day in terms of behavior, maybe realise that there could be a pattern of negative behavior that needs to be stopped before permanent damage occurs to the child's well-being, both physically and mentally. Don't play into the by-stander effect!!! DO something about it when you see it.

I will leave you all on a much better note. The incidence of child maltreatment has gone down significantly over the past few years. No doubt this is because of new social programs that have been put into place. We are making progress.... now lets not get lazy!

Something a friend noticed

As I was sitting with friends recently, we made the observation that Lady Gaga's new song "Born This Way" sounds quite similar to "Express Yourself", by Madonna.  Apparently we weren't the only people to think this way. This guy's got some pretty good talent going for him!  He made a great mashup of the two songs, with a few others thrown in

Click Here for the youtube video

While talking with my hairdresser....

While I was having a much-needed haircut this afternoon, my hairdresser brought up a good point to me... who are we planning for? and why?

Cryptic I know, but this is where it all started, with some observations...

There was a time, when older generations tried their best to leave behind money, assets, land etc... for future generations to enjoy. Essentially the idea of a family dynasty was an attractive goal. Whereby slowly over time, the family (as a whole) would grow and expand, not only with respect to more people (through marriage etc...) but also through the accumulation of wealth.

When I think about the people growing up today... their thoughts are decidedly not on the future of their children or families... they tend to have a more "screw it, I'm going to enjoy myself, who cares if I leave behind debt when I'm dead...I'll be dead" and they overspend, and don't try to save a dime.

Personally, I come from a more rural area, and I feel that this gave me the drive to aim for the family dynasty style of life.  My father's pet project/retirement project is a vineyard.  It takes at least 10 years for the vines in a vineyard to produce enough fruit to be profitable.  This project is not just meant for him, but for both my brother and I as well.  Once he has reached the point where he can not longer tend it, it will be passed on to us, his sons, to take up the reins.  This is something that I thoroughly look forward to!  and something that in the coming years I will take a much more active role in.

Now that I have kept you interested with a little anecdote ... I will bring you back to my point. There seems to be a phenomena when people get a pay-cheque these days... they get paid on Thursday... and most of it is spent my Monday.  And I don't mean it was spent on bills... but frittered on many small and non-essential items that creep up on people.  then, the person goes 10-12 days without any money, so that when they get paid next... they are so excited to spend money that now... it's gone by Saturday instead of surviving until Monday.

I think this ... small spending addiction is contributing to the fall from grace of the future planners... the dynasty builders (the Kennedys etc...) who look out for each other, plan for their children.  But above all else, impart to their children the knowledge and the drive to realise that they need to work for their income, and be always grateful for what their parents left for them.

Next time you enjoy a meal that your parents or other providers have prepared for you.... make sure you thank them... and think about what you would want your children to say to you in the same situation, Then I think we will all understand that a penny saved is really, a penny earned

A little rhetoric regarding the right to vote

I want all of you to think about the right to vote. This means that you have the ability to decide (through a public poll who gets to assist in running your country for the next few years)  For those of you who are reading this and might not have the ability to vote, please read on!

Now, that last sentence might seem like a little bit of a surprise to most people... but I want you to think of this:  what happens when you are disabled and can't make it to the poll? what if you are mentally disabled and your caregivers decide that you aren't of sound mind to vote? there are a lot of factors regarding this right, even within our "free" society. I implore those of you who have voted to put yourselves in their shoes and think about how you would feel. Then think about your own stance on that situation.

Now, I will draw your attention to another point about our form of government that has been talked about in back alleys and in the dark shadows of the parliament/capitol... The people we vote into power... are they really qualified to make decisions on... lets say medical policy? drug policy? educational policy? economic policy?  in most cases the people we vote into power have a career based on POLITICS. Their university careers are spent looking at ways of  running a government, or in law. They are decidedly not experts in any field of applied study that would inform them better on the issues they decide.  Now, I will say that when a decision is to be made in congress or parliament, they try to get the most unbiased information from professionals in order to make an informed decision. Who decides what this information is? mostly they are lobbyists and other special interest groups that may have an agenda of their own.  Because the people we have elect to make decisions for us are easily swayed by the "expert" opinion of the people they interact with.

For example, I give you the medical doctor who attends to a congressperson. What if he/she could benefit from new legislation... what is stopping him/her from trying to convince their patient (the congressperson) that this legislation is beneficial? Nothing; and it happens all the time. The congressperson trusts the opinion of the doctor, who is an expert in medical knowledge.

So who really has the power to change things within our country(s)  the truth is, we all do, it just matters who you know, and how you convince your elected officials to your way of thinking. whether that way of thinking is right or wrong, is a matter of opinion.  That's my two cents

The Secret Life of Men

at 8:30am on Mondays,Wednesdays, and Fridays I am blessed with having my Psychology of Gender Differences class. It is seminar based, so there is a great deal of discussion that ensues about any topic we choose to look at. Furthermore, being one of only two males present, I have to defend my fellow man against the onslaught of a group of women... that being said, I think that being in a room with 10 other women, hearing their views in a structured environment, has given me great insight into that it really means to be a man, a woman, or somewhere in between.

What stood out in the discussion today, was a TED talk video presented by the author of the Vagina Monologues (I will link the video at the end of this post).  She made many good points about female genital manipulation, rape, and many other issues that face woman around the world at the moment.  From her presentation, I took one particular phrase to heart... "bullets are hardened tears"...  now what does she mean by this?

Essentially she says that, since men are told to not show emotions and to suppress compassion, it builds up a cathartic response and comes out as violence.  We are all told that holding in what you are really feeling is not a good way of dealing with any kind of conflict; there are definitely much better ways of talking things out, one item at a time, as the issues come. Absolutely not saving up a bunch of problems for one large bitch-session.  However, the message that men receive from an early age is in direct conflict with this.  The masculine image is that of the strong man who doesn't cry and who can think his way through any feelings or emotions. Building on this is the premise that feelings get in the way of progress, whether that be monetary or otherwise... do I appeal to the minority group and lose money? (feelings) or do I stay with the status quo and gain more resources? (apathy, cold-hard-calculating)

It is here where there is a disparity in what motivates us as a society. Do we look at the thoughts and feelings of everyone at the expense of, say, my car? our country's economic well-being? I would like to think that there is a balance between these two things within out society.... it works as a pendulum, sometimes we are on track to keeping a stable and profitable capitalist economy while pertaining to the needs of the few. Other times we don't. This is the bain of a Democratic society.

I would like to say, in closing, that we should all take a page from the diverse genders that our culture contains (but often times hides) and make sure that our children don't get caught up in the bland, faceless world that was taught to us many years ago. Tell your son it's okay to cry. Convey to him YOUR emotions, let him know how you feel about things. Fathers, let your daughters see a sensitive side. Mother's tell your daughters that there is nothing they can't do. Father's, tell your sons that no matter what they do, you will love them unconditionally. Because there is nothing worse for a child, than not knowing (for certain) whether he or she is loved. This will create for us, a much better world


http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/eve_ensler_embrace_your_inner_girl.html

This is what I do when my hands are occupied

I'm a big believer in open education. That is, a system whereby everyone has the right to and open, unbiased, balanced, and reasonably priced education (if not a free one). It benefits society as a whole to have more highly educated and well-rounded individuals.  Higher education provides a person with the opportunity to learn to think critically of what is placed before them, whether this be in the form of an advertisement or when faced with a moral dilemma.

Let us not, however, forget about trade work. Tradesmen are no less important to society than the most highly achieved academic. In some cases one could argue that the tradesmen directly contributes more to society than the academic. This is not the point of this post, however.  The point of this post is to lead you to a new website that I have found.  It is an example of where I would like to see information and literature move toward. Like Wikipedia, it enables people to access all sorts of books (audio books to be precise) for free.  It is based on volunteer work from all around the world.

Now, some of you might not like audiobooks; I, for one, didn't. But I have learned their value when I am doing something that is monotonous where I cant read a book like normal. For example, when driving, and when running on the treadmill. Time when I would normally be listening to music, is now spent listening to classic literature and non-fiction books.  I would like to think that this, once wasted, time is now used for something that is enhancing my overall worldly knowledge. So here it is, now enjoy!...

http://librivox.org/

The Dogma of Our Governments

Okay, so I promise that I won't get preachy very often. Lies, I will.... mostly because I find the internet a valuable forum for discussion. You may not agree with me about certain matters, and I welcome your opinion on the comments section... provided that said opinion is well thought-out and not vulgar.

As some of you may know, I have taken a liking to political readings of late. That fact, coupled with the Sociology of International Development class that I am taking, has created a little bit of a political commentator within me.  Not so much with regard to specific people in the governments of both Canada and the United States, but more in general terms and overriding themes.

Let us take Egypt as an example. The people of Egypt are protesting the fact that they don't have the full ability to vote and decide who is in charge of their country. Furthermore, they don't have what we know as "Free Speech".  All of this was sparked when the people of Tunisia revolted against the same facts in their government during the month of December.

Now, there is a current theory called "modernization theory" that postulates that countries develop in a certain way.  It is the common consensus in the Western world that Western-style democracy is naturally the highest point of development for any country regardless of that country's  ethnic or religious background. What some people don't understand is that these countries (Egypt included) do not enjoy as strict a separation of church and state. Further, they have been USED to this way of living for centuries, before the United States or Canada even existed; before Democracy was enjoyed in Europe; and long before anyone thought about what a natural progression for development would be.  There are certain points of traditional Muslim law, that conflict with a true Democracy. Roughly 70% of the population of Egypt still wants Muslim law.  I am definitely not saying that the people of Egypt are incapable of changing their government; I am simply pointing out that they will not be able to instate a copy of the United State's or the United Kingdom's form of government.  The people of Egypt will need to create their own form of representative government that pleases the masses its people. Who says that democracy is right for every culture?

What that government will be has yet to be decided. But it is clear that in this case, and when taking into account the other occasions when Western powers have interfered with another culture's development, the United States and its allies should take a back seat to the will of the people of Egypt, who are enacting their own change.

The concern of western powers, is that these protests will open up the government of Egypt to the influence of a radical group that does not want to interact positively with the rest of the United Nations.  This is a true concern for me, as a citizen of both the United States and Canada. But we have to know when to step back and let a modern country do what we did in 1776 and decide their fate for the betterment of their people.